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Eva Mendes Won’t Do This in Front of Ryan Gosling

HuffPo teased this “unexpected” secret from Eva Mendes which was about something she wouldn’t do in front of Ryan Gosling. Of course I clicked on it because my first guess was poop. It’s gotta be poop. It’s always poop. I had to make sure it was poop.

Turns out it wasn’t. It was just an interview about getting the perfect hair. Nothing at all to do with poop. God dammit.

We have to ask you about that amazing hair of yours! It always looks so thick and healthy, what’s your secret? Do you have any DIY hair care recipes you use?

Pantene! I like to condition my hair overnight. You can use any Pantene conditioner but I prefer the Breakage to Strength. Put it all over your hair before you go to sleep and leave it in a shower cap until morning. Then rinse and voilà. Warning: although your hair will be grateful, the shower cap look isn’t the sexiest, so maybe do it on a night when he’s not around. [Ed. note: Especially when “he” is Ryan Gosling.]

She won’t wear a shower cap in front of Ryan Gosling. So just to be clear. It’s not poop? Can we… can we make this a story about poop somehow? Help me out here.

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a11
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a11

Why do u wanna make this about poop, u little piece of shit.

poop
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poop

wow really?

EvasPoop
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EvasPoop

Gosling’s nosejob just makes him look even weirder. He already has those reptilian thin lips. I just don’t get it.

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