The ‘Jersey Shore’ Kids are Breeding

The prophecy foretold of a great terror that would come in threes. First Snooki had a kid and now Pauly D has a lovechild. One more to go. By the way, by lovechild, I mean an unplanned pregnancy. According to TMZ, the mother is 26 and popped out the baby a few months ago and immediately christened her with a spray tan.

The two met in Vegas while Pauly D was DJing and clearly she made one terrible life decision after another. First hooking up with Pauly D and then not using a condom. Simply put, she played douche roulette and lost.

Court docs filed in New Jersey establish paternity and Pauly D has already taken a DNA test confirming the baby guidette is his. Says Pauly, “I’m proud I’m a father. I am excited to embark on this new part of my life.”

Meanwhile, the mother commented, “Well, at least I got a free douching.”

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