Ariana Grande Has Been Visited by Demons

In an interview with Complex magazine, Ariana Grande talked about her experiences with demons. She’s been haunted by them on more than one occasion which should give cause for concern considering she’s managed by the same person that managed Amanda Bynes, but whatever.

She first recounts the time she and some friends went to visit one of the seven gates to hell on Earth, Stull Cemetery.

We were in Kansas City a few weeks ago and went to this haunted castle and were so excited. The next night we wanted to go to Stull Cemetery, which is known as one of the seven gates to hell on Earth. The Pope won’t fly over it—

She then smelled something funny and saw a fly which could only mean one thing. A demon. So she rolled down her window and apologized to it before leaving.

I love that you know that. Sorry, go on.
I felt this sick, overwhelming feeling of negativity over the whole car and we smelled sulfur, which is the sign of a demon, and there was a fly in the car randomly, which is another sign of a demon. I was like, “This is scary, let’s leave.” I rolled down the window before we left and said, “We apologize. We didn’t mean to disrupt your peace.” Then I took a picture and there are three super distinct faces in the picture—they’re faces of textbook demons.

The interviewer asked to see the picture and of course she didn’t have it.

I deleted it. The next day I tried to send the picture to my manager and it said, “This file can’t be sent, it’s 666 megabytes.” I’m not kidding. I used to have a folder called “Demons” that had pictures with all the screencaps in it, but then weird things started happening to me so I deleted it.

666 megabytes is a very large file. That’s more than half a gigabyte. For one photo. What was she taking this picture with, a Red camera?

I was going to sleep about two weeks ago. I had just gotten off the phone and as soon as I closed my eyes I heard this really loud rumble right by my head. When I opened my eyes it stopped immediately, but when I closed my eyes it started again with whispers. Every time I closed my eyes I started seeing these really disturbing images with, like, red shapes. Then I opened my eyes and got back on the phone and was like, “I’m really scared and I don’t want to go to bed tonight.” And then I scooched over to the left side of my bed, because that’s where the best service is in my room, and there was this massive black matter. I don’t know what it was.

She should really go to an opthamologist if she’s seeing red shapes when she closes her eyes. It could be a sign of a degenerative disease. That or a demon jizzed in her eye.

It was like a cloud of something black right next to me. I started crying. I was on the phone like, “What do I do, what do I do?” and they said, “Tell it to eff off.” I thought, I’m not going to do that. It’s going to upset it, so I’m just going to chill and not feed into it because all it wants is fear. It feeds on fear. I watched it move to the front of my bed and then I fell asleep on the phone. I woke up and it was gone. The next night my friend Tyler was staying with me. She said she was trying to sleep and her body felt paralyzed almost, and she described the same exact thing I saw.

Maybe her arm just fell asleep. That happens to me a lot. Until a demon actually rapes me, I don’t think too much of it.

Here’s Ariana arriving to BBC Studios in sort of a schoolgirl outfit. I’m told this is one of the best ways to ward off demons. Also, she looks to be 90% legs and head.

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