Charlie Sheen Is a Fantastic Father

For the past few weeks, Charlie Sheen has been going off on DCFS over the handling of his twins, Bob and Max. The day after Halloween, he posted this.

last night was awesoem!
I went as an officer from
(child protection srvc)
because that’s about as sane as these inept and retarded
doosh bags seem when dealing with my sons bob and max.
it’s an abhorrent dick dance that has NOTHING to do protecting any child.
instead they are swayed by the evil and pathetic über loser
whore that calls herself Brooke.
there will be a reckoning.
there will be a whirlwind,
that they will all reap while
desperate begging for my forgiveness.
you’ve all been warned.
bob if u delete this u are cooked and fired like a luau

Apparently Charlie Sheen types by liberally hitting the enter key whenever he can. He also posted this a few days ago.

so lemme see if I got this straight.
my twin boys are now in harms way and in grave danger.
being “raised” by a gaggle
of incompetent and lascivious
marionettes all ruled and fooled by an adderol snorting
husk called Brooke.

and guess what CPS and
“I’m Italian” judge anus-brain,
you may have gagged me temporarily, but mark my unspoken words,
anything happens to my boys,
and you will know get to know me,
know who I truly am,
a loving father.
tag – I’m it.

He called the judge an anus-brain. Things are looking up for Sheen.

and if this means being jailed
for loving and trying to protect my children,
then go for it.
I have as many friends on
the inside as i do out here.
my passion WILL NOT be silenced.
you are all now standing in my way.
I’d recommend a shift in
your geography.

Except sources inside DCFS tells TMZ that despite all this compassion Charlie Sheen is spewing on Twitter, he’s never made a real attempt to take custody of his twins. Says a source, “He cares more about his drugs and porn stars than he does the kids.” DCFS paints Sheen as a “self-absorbed, psychologically screwed-up parent” who blames others and has never indicated that he’d like the added responsibility.

You have to give Sheen credit though. It’s surprising he even remembers he has twins. I just assumed that whenever they were dropped off at his house, he’d look at them, say, “Who the hell are you two?,” and then ask if they brought the coke.

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