Phil Robertson Thinks Girls Should Be Married Off at 15

Fantastic. Phil Robertson is now doling out relationship advice. This should go over just as well as his beliefs on homosexuality did. Let’s see what A&E is going to sigh over this time.

According to RawStory, at a Sportsmen’s Ministry talk in 2009, Robertson told young men that they should look to marry 15-year-olds who can cook and carry a Bible. But what if they’re older than 15? Well, they’re probably just in it for the money at that point. After 16 is when they begin to covet things like evil little gollums with tits.

“Make sure that she can cook a meal, you need to eat some meals that she cooks, check that out,” he said. “Make sure she carries her Bible. That’ll save you a lot of trouble down the road. And if she picks your ducks, now, that’s a woman.”

“They got to where they’re getting hard to find,” Robertson remarked. “Mainly because these boys are waiting until they get to be about 20 years old before they marry ‘em. Look, you wait until they get to be 20 years old, the only picking that’s going to take place is your pocket.”

The Duck Commander company founder added: “You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16, they’ll pick your ducks. You need to check with mom and dad about that of course.”

Phil married his wife when she was 16. They started dating when she was 14 and he was 18. I hear she picked a mean duck. One thing Phil forgot to mention though is to always make sure your future wife’s parents offer at least 5 cows for her dowry. That should be non-negotiable.