It still hasn’t sunk in that Snooki is a mother now, but she is and the kid isn’t dead yet so color me impressed. In fact, she’s not even letting her kid get drunk off her breastmilk. How motherly.
Snooki has a new book coming out on December 31, the first chapter of which is the title of the book, Baby Bumps: From Party Girl to Proud Mama, and All the Messy Milestones Along the Way.
In it, she describes her “system for pooping” during pregnancy and has a chapter devoted to farts (I hope there’s graphs, I love graphs!). She also describes the night she somewhat quit drinking. That was the night her breastmilk exploded over her dress.
“I could smell the sake bombs in the bottle,” she writes. “My milk was so full of alcohol, I could have used it to start a bonfire in the yard. I could have cleaned the toilet with it.”
That night partying, when “my boobs ran like a river and the entire front of my dress was soaked,” rates prominent mention. It caused considerable friction with her fiancé and Lorenzo’s father, Jionni LaValle. NYDN
Wow. Snooki has changed. Old Snooki would have started screaming, “Shots! Shots! Shots!,” milked herself into shot glasses and told everyone to, “Drink up, bitches!”
The Rest of the Web, Friday, 4.28.17
Sign Me Up for This Napping Fitness Class
Beyoncé Ordering Food Has Turned into a Meme
Kids Who Want to Waste Thousands of Dollars Studying a Fake ‘Game of Thrones’ Language Are in Luck
Jennifer Lawrence Is Totally Marrying Darren Aronofsky This Summer
Katy Perry’s New Song Empowers Women To Have Food Sex or Something
Ja Rule’s $12,000 Ticket Music Festival Ends in ‘Lord of the Flies’ Nightmare With Kidnapping and Mugging Rumors
Obama’s First Joke About Trump Was Perfect
Rita Ora’s Gonna Regret This Outfit One Day
It’s Kylie Jenner’s Soulless Dead Eyes…And Her Sexy Midriff!
Kendall Jenner Gets Camera Shy Which Is Really Ironic
R. Kelly Sued for Nailing Sheriff Deputy’s Wife and Giving Her Chlamydia