Daft Punk Won It All at the Grammys and Beyoncé Looked Hot

Another week, another day of celebrities patting themselves on the backs. This time it was all about the music or, if you watched Beyoncé’s opening performance, it was all about dat ass.

Beyoncé started the show with her hit single “Drunk in Love”. She danced around a chair, shook her amazing butt and actually said “surfbort” a bunch of times on national television.

Of course there’s a gif too. I’m not a monster.

Later, Katy Perry looked like she was cross-promoting with that Maleficent commercial and performed “Dark Horse” looking like a dayglo witch. If you listen closely, you can hear a ghostly voice echo through the Staples Center moaning, “OoOoOooo. Shooooow meee yoooour tiiiits.”

Then there was that performance by Lorde. Everyone is talking about her black fingertips, a symptom of the Black Plague, but why isn’t anyone asking what the f**k she was doing with her hands?

Anyway, the big winner of the night was Daft Punk taking home the award for both Record of the Year and Album of the Year. Suck it, whoever else was nominated. They didn’t give a speech or anything on account of those GIANT ROBOT HELMETS.

At some point in the night, Macklemore & Lewis performed “Same Love” which was followed by Queen Latifah and Madonna marrying off 33 same sex couples to loud cheers. Though I probably didn’t have to even write that last part. It’s not like anyone is going to be booing. That would just be awk-ward.

Oh, and here’s Madonna winking on the red carpet. I put this in here because I find it oddly fascinating and disturbing.

Speaking of fascinating and disturbing, if you watched E!’s Live From the Red Carpet segment, you probably saw Slipknot’s Shawn Crahan walking around in the most terrifying clown mask. It was pretty great.

Luckily Anna Kendrick’s dress was there providing everyone with some eye bleach. I needed that. Thanks Anna Kendrick’s boobs.

Ariana Grande was there as well. She didn’t win anything. I think. I don’t know. What am I, your DVR?


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