ESC

Kate Upton Showed Up for the Sports Illustrated Party

Kate Upton showed up to the 50th Anniversary Celebration of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue celebration last night. She smushed her boobs together in a black dress with plunging neckline which didn’t plunge enough. I’d have preferred it to plunge so much that it’d make an Olympic high diver jealous.

In related news, Page Six released details about Kate’s SI spread. She was shot in “zero gravity space” for the 50th anniversary issue in a silver swimsuit with weightless “ample bosom” and big hair that made her “look like something out of ‘Barbarella.'”

And it’s at this point where I drift off into space for an hour imagining what Kate Upton’s boobs look like in zero gravity. Also, what they sound like as they float through space. Probably, “wub wub wub wub.” Like bass being pumped through speakers.

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