Alec Baldwin Taps Out From Public Life

You gays have done it now. You’ve made Alec Baldwin quit public life. Much like Shia LaBeouf, who he criticizes and pities in the article he wrote on Vulture, he’s not famous anymore. The lengthy piece is just pages and pages of him whining about the difficulties that come with fame. He also spends a third of it denying he ever said “cocksucking f****t” in that one paparazzi incident. This time he says he said “cocksucking motherfucker” because sticking to “cocksucking fathead” would just be stupid.

He goes off on everything he has a problem with and criticizes the media in every other paragraph. Ironic because media is the thing that made him famous enough for anyone to even want to pay him millions for 30 Rock.

Am I bitter about some of the things that have happened to me in the past year? Yes, I’m a human being. I always had big ambitions. I had dreams of running for office at some point in the next five years. In the pyramid of decision-making in New York City politics, rich people come first, unions second, and rank-and-file New Yorkers come dead last. I wanted to change that. I wanted to find a way to lower the cost of the city government and thus reduce New York’s shameful tax burden. I would have decentralized the schools. My father was a public-school teacher. He always told me that although you could encourage a child to work hard, you could only go so far; that half the goal had to be achieved at home. As progressive as I’ve been in my politics, there are other things I don’t think of as liberal or progressive, just common sense. Of course, another thing I would have done—and this will not surprise anyone—is change the paparazzi law.

Oh, so he wanted to go into politics to change the law to benefit himself. Seems about right.

It’s good-bye to public life in the way that you try to communicate with an audience playfully like we’re friends, beyond the work you are actually paid for. Letterman. Saturday Night Live. That kind of thing. I want to go make a movie and be very present for that and give it everything I have, and after we’re done, then the rest of the time is mine. I started out as an actor, where you seek to understand yourself using the words of great writers and collaborating with other creative people. Then I slid into show business, where you seek only an audience’s approval, whether you deserve it or not. I think I want to go back to being an actor now.

Just let Alec Baldwin act, man! Why won’t you just let him be great?!