Barbara Walters and His Lawyer Have Come to Woody Allen’s Defense

Barbara Walters doesn’t believe for one second that Woody Allen is the monster Dylan Farrow makes him out to be. On Monday’s episode of The View, Walters defended Allen calling him a caring, sensitive father.

“I have rarely seen a father as sensitive, as loving and as caring as Woody is and Soon-Yi to these two girls (referring to the now married couple’s daughters together.) I don’t know about Dylan. I can only tell you what I have seen now,” the 84-year-old TV personality said.

As we all know, child abusers never hide behind a public persona. They’re always like, “Hey kid, suck on my finger, will ya?!,” in front of everyone. Walters then questioned the timing of the accusations.

“She’s doing it now because he’s up for an (Oscar.) And so the question is: Does your personal life interfere with the awards that you may get?” Walters responded.

Oh, I know, right? It’s like, what does she have against Allen that would want make her not want people to celebrate him?

In even more surprising news, Allen’s lawyer also came to his defense. The guy he pays to defend him. Imagine that. He alleges that Dylan’s memories were implanted by Mia Farrow.

“She was a pawn in a huge fight between him and Mia Farrow years ago, and the idea that she was molested was implanted in her by her mother,” Abramowitz said. “That memory is never going to go away. So the fact that she says this now, that it happened 20 years ago, is totally understandable.”

That’s an idiotic argument because there’s really no way anyone can argue otherwise. Which is why I’m going to use that from now on. What? I didn’t make out with your sister. Someone incepted you, bro.

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