Joe Francis Wants a Baby

Joe Francis, Girls Gone Wild douchebag extraordinaire, tells Us that he and girlfriend Abbey Wilson are ready to have a baby.

“We both have always wanted children,” said Joe. “We have watched our friends evolve into such incredible and compassionate people as a result of having such wonderful children,” Wilson, 25, continues. “Experiencing the unconditional love that our friends have for their children has definitely strengthened our desire to have our own family.”

People should have to apply for a license to have a baby. This is like letting Joe have a loaded gun that he can train and groom for 18 years.

To prep for baby, Wilson has been watching her diet, reading baby books and thinking about what type of parents they’ll be. “Without a doubt I will be the disciplinarian. Joe will surely spoil them and give them everything they want!” Wilson tells Us. “We will be fun parents!” Francis adds.

If Joe Francis ends up having a girl, the first thing the doctor should do is scream, “Show us your tits!,” while throwing Mardi Gras beads at her. Joe would want it that way.

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