Stacy Keibler Got Married to Not George Clooney

Proving that there is life after George Clooney, Stacy Keibler, having sniffed the A-list for but a brief moment, has been quietly dating Jared Probe, a tech entrepreneur, since the fall of last year. They’ve been friends for over 5 so that’s apparently more than enough time to get hitched. The two were married on a beach in Mexico on Saturday during sunset.

“My happiness is indescribable!” Keibler, 34, tells PEOPLE. “Marriage is the ultimate bond of love and friendship. It means putting all your faith and trust into a person that you can’t help but believe is your soul mate. Someone who has all of your best interests at heart; someone handpicked for you, to help you grow and be the best person that you can be. Jared is all of this for me.”

“We both felt strongly that our ‘love day’ should be intimately special, and that’s exactly what it was,” the couple tell PEOPLE in a statement. “It was a blend of romance, tranquility, natural beauty, bonding and overwhelming love.”

Is it just me or is it absolutely insane to marry someone you’ve only been dating for 6 months? Sure, they were friends for 5 years but I doubt this guy has experienced the full joy of her farting incessantly in her period pants and refusing sex because Keeping Up With the Kardashians is on. Though considering they called their wedding their “love day,” it sort of makes sense.

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7 years ago

Love is blind and apparently can’t smell the stink of someone else’s dick holster after it’s been washed off a few times.

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