Amber Heard Might Be Pregnant Already

Weeks after Amber Heard and Johnny Depp confirmed their engagement, an ex-boyfriend of Amber tells In Touch Weekly that she’s already pregnant. Big grain of salt, obviously.

“She’s pregnant already! I saw her three weeks ago,” Amber’s former beau, actor Mark Wystrach, tells In Touch. “Amber and I dated years ago but we are still close.”

Well, don’t expect them to be close anymore after this. But, anyway, I was expecting this to happen much sooner. The first thing you do when you’re banging Amber Heard is to convince her to go bareback. The second thing you do is try to last more than 1 minute inside her. The third thing you do is to try and stop apologizing profusely afterward.