The Human Barbie Is Against Race Mixing, Might Be Insane

GQ headed over to Ukraine to meet with Ukrainian Barbie, a real live human named Valeria Lukyanova who’s spent her entire life trying to look like a Barbie doll down to the dead doll stare. That said, it’s no surprise that if she had a profile, she’d make sure to write down “WHITES ONLY.”

“For example, a Russian marries an Armenian,” Valeria elaborates helpfully. “They have a kid, a cute girl, but she has her dad’s nose. She goes and files it down a little, and it’s all good. Ethnicities are mixing now, so there’s degeneration, and it didn’t used to be like that. Remember how many beautiful women there were in the 1950s and 1960s, without any surgery? And now, thanks to degeneration, we have this. I love the Nordic image myself. I have white skin; I am a Nordic type—perhaps a little Eastern Baltic, but closer to Nordic.”

Interestingly enough, she wasn’t always obsessed with this look. In fact, when she was a kid, she was on the complete opposite of the spectrum.

Valeria remembers both her Siberian-born grandfather and her father as very strict and began to rebel at the usual age of 13. Stage one involved dyeing her hair, which is naturally a low-key shade of brown. Valeria went for the goth look first—about the farthest you could get from Barbie. She wore all-black clothes to accentuate her very white skin. Kids at school began to tease her. Look, a witch! At 15, traumatized by the name-calling, she doubled down: bracelets with sharp two-inch spikes, artificial fangs. She was dismissed from a school choir for standing bolt upright when the singers were instructed to sway; in different circumstances, this budding nonconformism could have brought her straight into Pussy Riot.

Oh and if you were thinking about marrying this girl and having tiny Barbie kids with her? Think again.

“Oh God, no!” both women exclaim in unison. “It’s unacceptable to me,” says Valeria. “The very idea of having children brings out this deep revulsion in me.”

The topic has clearly shaken something loose in Valeria. In her view, expressed in a staccato rant, parenting is the pinnacle of selfishness. “Most people have children to fulfill their own ambitions, not to give anything,” she says. “They don’t think about what they can give this child, what they can teach her. They just try to shape her according to some weird script—whatever they couldn’t do in life, like becoming a writer or a doctor. Or some woman who’s almost 30 and thinks no one needs her, she says, ‘Oh, I’ll have a kid. He will love me and become my reason to live.’ And then this kid becomes a soccer ball she and her boyfriend will kick back and forth.

“I’d rather die from torture,” she concludes, “because the worst thing in the world is to have a family lifestyle.

Yea so this chick definitely is a few plastic parts short of an entire action figure. Not only because of this Barbie thing but the stuff that comes out of her mouth would make even a Scientologist twirl their finger around their ear. Vice did a whole segment on her and she sounds absolutely bonkers.

And a before and after video in case you’re wondering what she looked like before becoming a cautionary tale.

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8 years ago

Wouldn’t want to have a kid with her anyway, hell, wouldn’t even want to date her. What a brainless idiot.

7 years ago

Wow I already thought she was a stupid vapid idiot and now she’s confirmed it. I don’t know ONE man worth this salt that would take up with this trifling moron.

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