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Lena Dunham Is a Responsible Pet Owner

Lena Dunham posted this photo to her Instagram the other night. It’s a picture of her bleeding out of her ass. It was not caused by the usual night of gorging on Mexican food, rather, it was caused by a bite from her dog, Lamby. “#therewillbeblood,” she hashtagged.

You see, Lena Dunham is an idiot who shouldn’t be owning a dog much less a pet rock. If your dog bites you on the ass hard enough to draw blood, you’re doing something wrong. As Gawker notes, this isn’t the first time Lamby, a rescue dog, has bitten someone. Dunham told The New Yorker about the time she and her boyfriend simply left the room when her dog lunged and bit him while playing. Then there’s this.

Dunham went on to defend herself saying her dog only bites in specific circumstances.

– The bite doesn’t hurt that much. Just continuing to make pathetic excuses for my dog: he had a hard childhood, my shorts were too short, etc

– I cannot believe I am about to type the following series of tweets. Advance apologies: Last night I posted an image of my butt after my dog was scared by the doorbell, jumped up and bit me. We have a special-need rescue dog who has bitten me twice, under specific circumstances, in our own home… He has an amazing trainer… We monitor him closely. He’s never show aggression to anyone anywhere else but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t, so I’m vigilant. But… Got pretty defensive. On the topic of my dog. I’m just saying the concerned folks should go back to reading the news. There’s a bunch. And in conclusion, to the “tipster” who told Gawker I was feeding my dog a plate of salmon at an outdoor cafe. Fuck yeah I was.

Basically her dog is a loaded gun that she doesn’t know when will go off. That sounds like another reason to never visit her place. Also, her dog looks sort of like her.

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