Everyone Hates Kylie and Kendall Jenner’s Book

Kylie and Kendall Jenner are sci-fi authors now. They have a new book titled Rebels: City of Indra: The Story of Lex and Livia. Here’s a quick plot summary.

In a world of the far future, the great city of Indra has two faces: a beautiful paradise floating high in the sky, and a nightmare world of poverty carved into tunnels beneath the surface of the earth. Kendall and Kylie Jenner, the youngest sisters in the Kardashian dynasty, have written a gripping tale of air, fire, and a bond of blood.

They probably just watched Elysium before dreaming this up. Anyway, here’s a spoiler. Ready? It sucks. Not even the two ghostwriters Elizabeth Killmond-Roman and Maya Sloan could turn their ideas into anything less than mindless drivel. Don’t take my word for it though, just read these 1 star Amazon reviews.

God, how i wish i hadn’t read this. I feel so bad for the one hour of my life that i am never getting back. I really wanted to give this book a chance and not judge it just because of the so-called “authors” but dear god, what the heck is this? I can’t believe this trash actually got published. The story is nonsense, the character development is poor, the plot points are ridiculous and the scenes are all over the place. There doesn’t seem to be a connection between one sentence and the next. I could not get past the fifth chapter, by then my head was pounding. I directly skipped to the last chapter and what i read ominously points towards a sequel….i really hope not.

But everyone loves sequels!

Garbage from start to finish. Don’t bother wasting your time or money on this piece of trash. The trees that died to make the paper for this book would have been better off as toilet paper.

In their dystopian future, this is the toilet paper.

Very mediocre… A lot of telling no showing… Terms they did not explain and no personal connection to any of the characters. Its like word vomit and they didn’t even care.

Then there’s this from a, er, “passionate” writer.

I read the first two chapters on MTV, let’s leave it at that. I’d really like to know how two homeschooled teenagers living in their own pampered, narcissistic bubble would dare attempt “write” a book. No, wait. They didn’t. They had a ghostwriter. Two, if I’m not mistaken. They should ask for a refund. The book is on par with an eighth grade writing assignment. How disheartening for us self-published and aspiring writers to know that two spoiled, vapid, prima donnas can sit back and hire someone to do the grudge work for them. Then when it’s finished, you throw on your designer heels, plaster the makeup on, and sashay in to Good Morning America to promote your new book. From reading the first two chapters (which was an accomplishment in itself) I highly doubt Kylie and Kendall had anything to do with any of it.

For one, if you’re even going to attempt to call yourself a writer, you have to at least spend a fair amount of cussing at your word processor and slogging through endless drafts because you don’t think its good enough. You have to get inside your characters and find out what makes them tick. You pour your blood, sweat, and tears into a novel that no one will read just because you’ve always wanted to be writer and you really have a knack for stringing a few words together to get your point across. You DON”T wake up one morning after club hopping and decide amongst piles of your discarded designer wardrobe that you’re bored and what can you possibly do that you haven’t done yet to make more money.

I know, we’ll write a book! How can we possibly go about this? MOM! We want to write a book! Make it so! We’re going to Coachella, tell us when the ghostwriter is done so we can pick out outfits for the book tour. Yep. This is HOW!

So what if the writing sucks? So what if there’s no character development? So what if the plot is unoriginal and is just another teen dystopian filled rehash? So what if there’s nothing remarkable about it? It’s just another notch on our designer bedpost.

The first two chapters were dull, dry, and completely devoid of anything resembling entertainment. I would rather watch paint dry. For me, it is extremely disheartening to be a self-published author who spent 7 months agonizing and tormenting myself over a 580 page novel. I wrote it myself. I researched it. I edited it. I formatted it. I chose the cover, I went over it again and again trying to polish the dialogue and plot. AND ALL FOR NOTHING!!! My pitiful foray into the world of publishing has been a colossal failure. NO ONE wants it. I suppose that’s my fault. I’m nobody. I don’t have a name. I work for a living cleaning houses and all that, hoping I’ll eventually have that big break and be a writer that someone wants to read.

No, the world doesn’t work that way. You start questioning yourself. You buy the only copy of your book and tuck it away in your closet, utterly downtrodden and beaten. You don’t even feel like writing anymore. So you don’t. You might write a snarky review on a website because you’ve got to write something. But if you’re a Kardashian or Jenner, you too can ride the coattails of reality success and parlay that into a successful writing career. Doesn’t matter if there’s no substance. Doesn’t matter if you rack up bad reviews. People WILL buy it. Why? Because they know who we are.

Is there a club for failed writers? I’d like to join. Sigh. The book is too expensive. Best wait for a used copy since it’s going to sell like hotcakes. I’m going to burn my book now. It’s here on Amazon. Big deal.

Toodles.

Call it intuition, but I have a sneaking suspicion this person didn’t like the book all that much.