ESC

Josie Cunningham Already a Fantastic Mother

Remember Josie Cunningham? She’s the 23-year-old “model” who was considering an abortion just so she could be on Big Brother. She decided against the procedure because she thought she was having a girl. Turns out she was wrong and she’s having a boy instead. Ta-da! She’s now attempting to kill it. At least that’s what it sounds like. To hear her tell it, she’s simply smoking a shit ton of cigarettes and drinking alcohol because that’s the only things that console her.

Anyway, since she’s half-retarded, she’s planning on making her kid half-retarded too. Or would that be full retarded. I’m not sure how the math works. According to Josie, she’s smoking up to 20 cigarettes a day. She’s also taken to drinking wine. “Once I’d finished the cigarette I found it difficult to focus on anything positive, so I had a small glass of wine,” she said.

She also compares having a boy instead of a girl to getting a Ford instead of an Audi. Dina Lohan better watch out. Someone is coming for her Mother of the Year award.

“If you’ve already got a couple of Fords and you’re told your next car is going to be an Audi, your excitement goes through the roof.

“You make promises to yourself that you won’t smoke inside the car or let people eat takeaway food in it. But if it was another Ford those things wouldn’t be a problem.

“It’s the same for me with the smoking and drinking when pregnant with a girl as opposed to a boy.

“I know some people will find it disgusting that I started drinking and smoking again simply because I’m having another son, but I’m being honest.

“I wouldn’t be smoking or drinking if I knew I was having a girl.”

Later, she spends about 10 minutes talking about the bitter disappointment she felt when they told her it was a boy. She sets it up by describing how she fell in love with the idea of having a girl. She quit smoking, quit drinking, started looking around baby shops, already picked a name (Karma), went to a psychic who told her she’d look exactly like her… Then at the 23-week scan it all went to hell.

“The nurse asked if I’d like to know the sex, and I was so excited to hear the words ‘You’re having a baby girl’ I said yes,” she says.

“Then the nurse said ‘You’re having a boy’. My heart sank and I felt sick to my stomach that I had sacrificed so much to have my first daughter, only to be told I was having a boy. It ruined the whole scenario. I went home that afternoon and cried non-stop.”

This kid is going to grow up and read this one day and finally realize why his mom dressed him up in girl’s clothes until he was 10. Assuming he manages to overcome his developmental disability and learn how to read, that is.

The only good thing to come from all this is the important life lesson Josie can now impart on people: “Never make life changing decisions based on advice from someone claiming they have psychic abilities!! So angry!!!!”

Yes. So wise.

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