This shoot of Mila Kunis on Marie Claire makes me sad that she’s now fat with Ashton Kutcher’s baby. On the upside, her breasts are huge now. She went from a 34A to a 34C and she wants everyone to touch them. Score!
“They’ve tripled in size. I was a 34A; now I’m a 36C,” she says. “I’m so excited! I’m telling everyone I know, ‘Go ahead, touch them!'” Kunis leans forward and breaks into a wide, shameless grin: “Without being an asshole, I have to say, I love being pregnant.”
Mila also talks about how that kid is going to shred her vagina up like a frog in a blender.
“Two people are allowed in my delivery room. My doctor and my significant other,” Kunis told the mag. “And he is staying above the action. He’ll be head to head. Not head to vag. Unless he wants to risk his life and see. But I wouldn’t if I were him. I highly doubt he wants to see that being ripped apart and shredded. Because it will be shredded. It’s just a matter of how badly.”
It’ll probably look like a war zone after. Like the beaches of Normandy after D-Day. It’ll be so busted up that the first time they have sex after the birth, Kutcher will sit there staring at her vagina for 10 minutes trying to figure out where to put it in.
A good doctor and a couple of stiches and she will be better than new. I’d be glad to break her in after the baby.