Nice Shorts You Got There, Bradley Cooper

Bradley Cooper trained for American Sniper in LA on Wednesday wearing the shortest shorts known to man. Are those, uh, regulation? Did they shrink wrap those things on him? Jesus. I guess when those military guys work their glutes as much as they do they want to be able to show off their hot asses. *Licks finger, presses against butt cheek, hears sizzling sound*