ABC Names New Crew of Dancin’ Has-Beens and Who-Dats

ABC has named the cast for the upcoming 19th season of Dancing with the Stars, which includes Alfonso Ribeiro, the other guy from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Sadie Robertson from Duck Dynasty and NASCAR star Michael Waltrip, so we know who the rednecks will be voting for even if they can’t dance for s**t.

Whiny Olympic athlete and proud virgin Lolo Jones.

Lea Thompson, best-known for wanting to screw her son in Back to the Future.

Soap star and underpants model Antonio Sabato, Jr.

Former UFC fighter Randy Couture.

Very boring PBS talk show host Tavis Smiley.

Frighteningly old-but-perky fashion designer Betsey Johnson.

Legendary stoner Tommy Chong.

And a couple more people too obscure to mention.

About to begin its 19th season, Dancing with the Stars has seen its viewership slowly decline. So do the right thing, ABC, for your ratings and for your viewers – tell us which of the competitors are sleeping with their dance partners in a gala two-hour special, Dancing with the Stars: Who’s Banging Who?

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