Apple Introduces Expensive, Somewhat Douchey Thing for your Wrist

Apple has revealed the Apple Watch, which will be available in early 2015 to people who start camping out in front of the Apple Store now. Right now. Blow off your job and family – go!

Prices start at $349 for the stainless steel model and much, much more for the 18-carat gold “Apple Edition,” for people with discriminating taste who don’t mind having their arm chopped off by robbers.

Apple Watch comes with a pulse sensor for fitness apps, an accelerometer, gyroscopes, GPS, Wi-Fi, and Siri, so you and your watch can talk to each other. And fall in love. And so you can get dumped, like Joaquin Phoenix in that movie where people wore high pants.

The watch is designed to work in conjunction with the iPhone 5 or the just-introduced iPhone 6. Now you can stare at your phone and your watch while driving.

Note: The Moto 360 looks way prettier.

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9 years ago

Not nerds, Apple Douches. Apple is not for smart people.