George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin Finally Marry

George Clooney got married over the weekend to a dual-qualified English barrister and New York litigation attorney who speaks three languages and earned her BA/LLB from Oxford. So, yea, Stacy Keibler and Elisabetta Canalis never had a chance.

Clooney and his new human rights lawyer of a wife, Amal Alamuddin, said their vows at the Aman Canal Grande luxury resort in Venice, Italy in front of family and friends and celebrities like Matt Damon who probably did not prank him that day. They were married by the former mayor of Rome, Walter Veltroni.

Before you say anything, no, it’s nothing like when your frat bro Chad married you and your girlfriend. For instance, Veltroni didn’t smash a beer can on his forehead after pronouncing them man and wife.