Ray Rice Won’t Beat His Wife Anymore Because He Quit Hard Liquor, Found God

Ray Rice has found the root of his woman beating problems. Hard liquor. Rice told the Baltimore Ravens that he and his now wife, Janay Palmer, had been pounding alcohol before the incident. Rice says he’s a completely different person when he’s drunk.

Yep, the old, “He only gets like this when he drinks,” battered housewife excuse. But this time coming from the husband. Next, Janay will tell friends her concussion was from running into a railing and that she’s “just so clumsy.”

That’s all in the past though because Rice has quit hard liquor. Wine and beer and everything else is a-ok still. They’re like the Zimas of the alcoholic wife beater world.

In addition to that, they’ve become born again Christians after the February incident. Both were even baptized in March.

See? Everything is cool now, guys. Rice is avoiding his trigger, hard alcohol, and Palmer will be able to pray each night that she doesn’t catch another beating.

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