War Machine Could Face Life in Prison Without Parole

John Koppenhaver, affectionately known as War Machine to no one anywhere, appeared in court on Wednesday to face 32 criminal charges which dated back to May of last year. Most of these charges stemmed from the beating of Christy Mack where even Chris Brown probably said, “Damn, that’s messed up.”

Charges include attempted murder, sexual assault, battery, coercion, preventing or dissuading a witness or victim from reporting a crime, and first-degree kidnapping resulting in substantial bodily harm.

These could all add up to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Meaning, yea, he could be in there a while. Don’t wait up for him.

The judge in his case also said she won’t be taking part in his childish power fantasies and will refer to him as Koppenhaver instead of War Machine.