Alyssa Milano Shows Herself Breastfeeding on Instagram

Alyssa Milano killed the last shred of whatever masturbatory fantasy you had left of her when she posted a breastfeeding photo on Instagram. The now 41-year-old mother showed a picture of her cracking a little smile as her newborn daughter Elizabella Dylan un-erotically suckled on her teat.

She quoted Milan Kundera in her caption, “Ah, the joy of suckling! She lovingly watched the fishlike motions of the toothless mouth and she imagined that with her milk there flowed into her little son her deepest thoughts, concepts, and dreams.”

What? The last time I let a baby suckle on my teat it felt nothing like that. Maybe it’s different when you’re a dude and it’s not your own baby.