Jaden and Willow Smith Gave an Insane Interview

When you grow up in a bubble with people constantly blowing smoke up your ass and “nurturing” your creativity with nothing to ground you to reality, you get Jaden and Willow Smith. In their interview with T Magazine, these two Smith kids talk about everything from Prana energy to their own theory of time to why they don’t go to school. It was all very interesting in a “god, they’re so stupid” way.

So what have we learned from this interview? Mostly that they take themselves way too seriously. They’ve made and drank their own kool-aid. For instance, here are their thoughts on time.

WILLOW: I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist.

JADEN: It’s proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It’s relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it’s also such a thing that you can get lost in.

Willow doesn’t believe in time because she can control it. Isn’t that a paradox? I don’t know. I’m not on the same plane of existence as these two.

What’s interesting is they talk about sadness a lot and it seems most of what they do is to keep them from being sad.

JADEN: Exactly. Because your mind has a duality to it. So when one thought goes into your mind, it’s not just one thought, it has to bounce off both hemispheres of the brain. When you’re thinking about something happy, you’re thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple. It’s a tool for understanding mathematics and things with two separate realities. But for creativity: That comes from a place of oneness. That’s not a duality consciousness. And you can’t listen to your mind in those times — it’ll tell you what you think and also what other people think.

Jaden sounds a lot like that homeless guy sitting on the park bench. But unlike the homeless guy, Jaden wants to shock people.

JADEN: Anything that you can shock somebody with. The only way to change something is to shock it. If you want your muscles to grow, you have to shock them. If you want society to change, you have to shock them.

Had Jaden gone to school, he’d know that’s not how muscles grow, but whatever. Speaking of school, here’s why they don’t go to it.

JADEN: Here’s the deal: School is not authentic because it ends. It’s not true, it’s not real. Our learning will never end. The school that we go to every single morning, we will continue to go to.

WILLOW: Forever, ‘til the day that we’re in our bed.

JADEN: Kids who go to normal school are so teenagery, so angsty.

WILLOW: They never want to do anything, they’re so tired.

JADEN: You never learn anything in school. Think about how many car accidents happen every day. Driver’s ed? What’s up? I still haven’t been to driver’s ed because if everybody I know has been in an accident, I can’t see how driver’s ed is really helping them out.

WILLOW: I went to school for one year. It was the best experience but the worst experience. The best experience because I was, like, “Oh, now I know why kids are so depressed.” But it was the worst experience because I was depressed.

Ugh, disgusting normals. They’re so typical. Jaden and Willow are different. They’re not like the others. See? This is what happens when you tell your kid they’re a unique snowflake every day of their lives. Seriously, you should read the interview. It’ll serve as a reminder of how not to raise children.