Us Weekly Confirms Jessica Biel’s Pregnancy

Rumors of Jessica Biel’s pregnancy cropped up a bit before Halloween, but Us now confirms. Jessica Biel is indeed pregnant.

“Right now they are just enjoying the news for themselves,” one pal tells Us of the Blunderer actress, 32, and Timberlake, 33, who dated on and off for five years before getting engaged in January 2012. “They just want a happy baby.”

Aren’t all babies happy? That’s all those idiots know how to do. Just shove some applesauce in their mouths, change their diapers and maybe burp them once in a while and they’re good to go. You could tell them that you have an inoperable brain tumor and all they’ll do is giggle.