This Woman Live-Tweeted an Awesome Tinder Date
Carrie Mantha was sitting at a restaurant bar in Manhattan eating dinner when the dating fairies gave her a magical gift. A conversation between two people on a Tinder date. She described the man as “40, kind of generically good-looking, casual but well-dressed with a definitively preppy style” and that he embraced “every stereotype.” Like anyone would, she decided to live-tweet the thrilling conversation.
Sitting next to the most obnoxious Tinder couple ever. Dude is a 40-something trust fund baby, girl seems normal but inexplicably into him
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
The guy seems like quite the catch as he starts off with a dad joke.
Dude: "So I said 'I don't have time to wait; I have a biz to run.'"
Girl: "What biz is that?"
Dude: "the business of enjoying my life"
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
He then admits to this being his third Tinder date of the day. One more and he may need to get some help.
Dude just casually admitted it's his 3rd Tinder date OF THE DAY. Girl seems strangely amused, couple on the other side hilariously appalled
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
For whatever reason, he tells his date that he has a daughter he’s not providing for. I’m not sure that was the smartest move.
Oh God, he just said "Theoretically I should be providing for my daughter, but really my parents do that." Girl looks slightly confused
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
He goes on to brag about how this date is third on his list for today.
Apparently his 3-Tinder record today is marred with an * because he saw the girl come in, decided she wasn't as cute as her pic & snuck out
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
It's really hard to believe this guy made it this far without anyone snatching him up. What a catch.
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
He's giving a rundown on what was wrong with prior Tinder dates. One girl was from Alabama and just wanted to watch FB all day (the horror!)
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
"And this one girl ate AN ENTIRE DESSERT before the date was over AND asked for a bite of mine." (Sadly, I am now officially not his type)
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
This guy isn’t just a socialite either. He’s got serious investors. *taps on pocket calculator*
"I don't JUST fly around being a socialite, I also run a fund. I'm a serious investor." I assumed all serious investors were also socialites
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Girl: "When did you become an investor?"
Dude: "I've basically always been one"
Girl: "What do you invest in?
Dude: "Whatever I want"
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Obviously wet from that exchange, the girl goes to the bathroom. The guy proceeds to open up Tinder.
You guys, HE'S SWIPING THROUGH TINDER WHILE SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM. I think he might actually be an addict. Appears to be all right-swipes.
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
He’s also really into fighter planes for whatever reason.
Dude: "You like fighter planes? I know a lot about fighter planes"
Girl: "Were you in the military?"
Dude: "No I just like fighter planes"
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
At one point, her called Obama “the Trojan horse of Islam.” The couple behind them choked on their drink. But let’s not talk politics. Let’s talk Africa and safaris and how eating lion brains will get you ebola.
Girl: "Have you been to Africa?"
Dude: "I used to go on safari with my family, but that's how you get ebola – eating lion brains & stuff."
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Tinder Dude: "I lead a really healthy lifestyle. I take a lot of naps and smoke a lot of weed."
And, he's totally free from Ebola to boot.
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Have you heard about apps? They’re the new, cool thing. He’s going to build one.
Oh yes. He's considering having someone build an app. Wait for it…Uber for dog walkers. Tweet me if you want in on the round. No cap, obvi
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
"I've never done any drugs that aren't socially acceptable. I mean, I did snowcaps back in the day but whatever."
Snowcaps?
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
He then goes into whiny trust fund baby mode.
Dude complaining that his brother is trustee of his mom's estate & won't release her money. "It's family money, it's not like it's hers" Wow
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
"Everyone knows I'm the best investor in the family. Two of my brothers already spent their entire inheritance." #lowbar
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
This guy is like the Ron Burgundy of trust fund babies.
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
He has an interesting opinions on guns.
"I only have guns because all these derelicts out there have guns. And because they're fun." He is packing in the topics for a 1st date…
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Then things get a little awkward.
Oh lord… "Do you have any like old samurai swords that have been in your family for centuries?" (Girl is Asian) #cringing
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
You like wine? Dude has tons of wines!
"I have a huge wine collection if you want to see it. I hardly show it to any of my Tinder dates." #whitestthingsyoucansay
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
We're back on foreign policy…
"These ISIS guys are already in the city. They're driving cabs everywhere." #hideyourkidshideyourwife— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
His date finally tapped out.
Date appears to be ending unceremoniously kids, but good news: I've talked the bartender into alerting me when Mr. Tinder comes in next. 🎉 🎊
— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
And this is how a book deal is made.
