John Mayer Possesses a Magic Dick that Breaks Up Marriages

Either John Mayer packs serious heat or he blackmails his girlfriends. How else to explain the commendable list of girls that have passed through Mayer’s bedroom? Katy Perry hopped on the ride, he made Taylor Swift write a sad song and he called Jessica Simpson ‘sexual crack cocaine‘. That list rivals Wilmer Valderrama.

Now comes word that Mayer broker up Giada De Laurentiis’ marriage. De Laurentiis recently filed for divorce and hey, guess what? The Mayer hot dog. Read what Radar Online says:

De Laurentiis and Mayer worked together at a charity event hosted by Tiger Woods in 2007, and two years later, blogs were rife with outrageous claims that they were hooking up. But speculation reached a fever pitch in 2010 with an explosive report in Star magazine.

On October 9, 2010, the mag claimed, De Laurentiis and Mayer crossed paths at the exclusive Boom Boom Room at The Standard hotel.

“Almost as soon as they saw each other, they left the room moments apart,” an eyewitness said at the time.

“Giada was leaning with her back against the wall, and John was right up against her,” the source told the magazine. “Giada was holding his hand and she just had a huge grin on her face. John had one hand on the small of her back. They looked like two people who were going to go home together.”

And while they didn’t go home together, they did go to another hotel, the magazine claimed.

Maybe John puts lines of coke on his dick for the girls. He has a secret and it’s time to find out what it is. Or perhaps women just really, really love guitarists who write sappy songs.

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9 years ago

Big dick, stupid women. The oldest story in the world.