The 2015 Oscar Nominations Recap

The Oscars, a 3+ hour long commercial, announced their nominations this morning. Big news: Sharknado 2 did not win. A travesty!  Here are the major categories nominees because really, does anyone care about editiing or film design? Birdman led with 9 nominations.

Best Picture

American Sniper
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Imitation Game
The Theory of Everything

Who’ll win: First off, no Gone Girl? Lame.

The Oscars has a 5- to 10- film requirement for Best Picture. Seems like a sneaky plot to increase box office sales since no one goes out to movie theaters anymore. Nine nominees this year! How will they fit all the tiny boxes for camera shots inside the TV screen?

Boyhood for the win here. A film that can be advertised as a serious drama with mainstream appeal. Perfect Oscars catnip.

Selma definitely not gonna win. A movie about Martin Luther King, Jr., filled with African-Americans, but no notable African-American actors in it. Hollywood will pass. Now, if it had Denzel Washington, that’d be another story. Hollywood loves Denzel.

Best Director

Alexandro G. Iñárritu, Birdman
Richard Linklater, Boyhood
Bennett Miller, Foxcatcher
Wes Anderson, The Grand Budapest Hotel
Morten Tyldum, The Imitation Game

Who’ll win: Richard Linklater wins, hands down. Or should at least. Oddsmakers have Iñárritu, but Boyhood took 12 years to film Boyhood. Plus, Iñárritu is too hard to pronounce. Presenters are sure to f**k it up. Too embarrassing for the Academy. Go with Boyhood.

Best Actor

Steve Carrell, Foxcatcher
Bradley Cooper, American Sniper
Benedict Cumberbatch, The Imitation Game
Michael Keaton, Birdman
Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything

Who’ll win: Put your money on Keaton. A notable name in a thoughtful film. No one’s taking Cooper seriously yet. Hollywood has a soft spot for portrayals of disabled people, but who’s Eddie Redmayne? He’s not winning.

Put your money on Steve Carrell if you’re a gambler. Carrell went from The Office to the Oscars. He’s the modern day Jim Carrey, but less talking out of his ass and less annoying.

Best Actress

Marion Cotillard, Two Days One Night
Felicity Jones, The Theory of Everything
Julianne Moore, Still Alice
Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl
Reese Witherspoon, Wild

Who’ll win: Pike brings home the gold. Why? Because people actually saw this movie. Again, Gone Girl did not get a best picture nomination. Lame.

Best Supporting Actor

Robert Duvall, The Judge
Ethan Hawke, Boyhood
Edward Norton, Birdman
Mark Ruffalo, Foxcatcher
J.K. Simmons, Whiplash

Who’ll win: Hmmm…Birdman‘s the popular movie, but Hawke did well also. And don’t forget Duvall who’ll have the name recognition. We call this a toss-up.

Best Supporting Actress

Patricia Arquette, Boyhood
Laura Dern, Wild
Keira Knightley, The Imitation Game
Emma Stone, Birdman
Meryl Streep, Into the Woods

Who’ll win: Make a spot on your mantel, Patricia Arquette. You’re winning this for sure. Does Meryl Streep get all the Oscar roles? She’s up for it every year.

Of course, there were people and films left out. Jennifer Aniston didn’t make the cut for Cake, even though everyone thought she would. Clint Eastwood got left off Best Director, even though his movie, American Sniper, made it onto the Best Picture list. He’s got enough awards though. The Lego Movie did not get nominated for Best Animated Feature! The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences must not be awesome.

Watch Neil Patrick Harris host the Oscars on February 22nd. They need Dave Chappelle to host. Seriously, their ratings would blow away any Oscars show every.

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