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Rihanna and Leo Dicaprio Hooking Up, but She Calls Him Fat

Rihanna and Leonardo DiCaprio are definitely keeping their relationship on the down low. No pictures together, no hint of even knowing each other. But they are doing the deed except Rihanna has one complaint. He’s a bit pudgy. Not a surprise, have you seen him on the beach lately? You can almost see the Ragu seeping into the ocean. OK! Magazine says:

“Ri’s got extremely high standards when it comes to who she sleeps with and Leo falls out of this category because he’s a lot more flabbier than her usual lovers,” a source exclusively told OKMagazine.com.

He also doesn’t hit her, so there’s that.

Although the “Diamonds” singer has been teasing her man, he isn’t getting the hint that she wants him to shed a few pounds! “Leo thinks it’s all highly amusing,” the source shared. “He’s never had a girl tell him what to do, so you can imagine how much he’s loving it.”

“Teasing her man”? Not direct enough. She should lift up his stomach folds and say “wherrrre’s the penis? Oh, there it is.”

The insider revealed that she snagged him a trainer and signed him up for martial arts classes. “She wants him to get a six-pack,” the source dished.

Doesn’t Rihanna know DiCaprio’s a world class martial artist already? Leonardo DiCaprio has hooked up with hundreds of models, driven men to kill themselves over his sex power and now he’s moving onto celebs. His dick must want to put up its tiny little hands and said “hey boss, I need a break here.”

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bobalouski
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bobalouski

Nice to know you can wrap $100 bills around a knitting needle and score hookers.

Carlos
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Carlos

“Ri’s got extremely high standards when it comes to who she sleeps…”
Translation: Leo’s jab doesn’t bring enough heat to set up the left hook.

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