Ashley Greene’s Massage So Good She Goes Full Retard

Ashley Greene hasn’t done much since The Twilight Sagas. Must be living off the residuals. She made three movies in 2014 and none of them you’ll ever watch. The C-list better make room for her. So, she spends her days at nail salons getting her nails did and enjoying massages that make her go ‘duhhhh’. Massages so good she’ll forget that she used to be popular. Also, she’s getting long in the tooth. Literally. Her gums look like they’re running away into her skull.

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