CBS Plays Off Superhero Craze with Yet to Be Seriously Broken into Market, the Predictable Rom-Com

It’s a bird! it’s a plane! No, it’s a pandering super-chickflick! In their new fall lineup, CBS is premiering the story of Kara Zor-El, a nerdy girl in glasses trying to have it all! She deals with coffee orders and cute boys at her job as a journalist until one day she takes off those glasses, shakes out that ponytail, and she’s a superhero! Notice her now, boys?

Supergirl will be gracing the CBS Monday night lineup and you can take a sneak peek at the surprisingly authentic trailer. In what seems like a parody, the first half of the trailer is littered with enough chick flick clichés to confuse the viewer when the main character decides to emerge as her superhero self in the second half.

“You exposed yourself; you’re out there, Kara, and everyone will know about you and you can’t take that back”, Supergirl’s BFF warns at her unrealistically huge apartment. Maybe be grateful, BFF; she did just save you from dying in a fiery plane crash. The words you’re looking for are “gee, thanks, Supergirl!” Here’s betting Kara’s cousin, Superman, didn’t have to deal with this s**t.

The second half of the trailer is infinitely more badass with a plot reminiscent of actual Marvel movies, but that’s not before we have to deal with the unreasonably bitchy, Devil-Wears-Prada boss, poorly take a feminist stance on the word ‘girl’.

“We can’t name her that”, argues Kara at the establishment of the name Supergirl. “Shouldn’t she be called Superwoman?” she adds rom-com sheepishly. This only sends her boss into a lecture, “what do you think is so bad about ‘girl’? I’m a girl, and your boss, and powerful, and rich, and smart. So if you perceive Supergirl as anything less than excellent, isn’t the real problem…you?” But like, that’s not what she’s pointing out, Bitch-boss. She’s just trying to get some equality to her Krypton cousin because, you know, she saves lives too and would like the connotation she might be a real grownup superhero. Quality straw man fallacy, journalist Boss.

If you were on board with the super-rom-com, don’t worry, it seems as though Supergirl will remain blindly unaware of the man who spends every day with her, helping her find her place in the world of superheroes. Here’s betting there’ll be a conversation along the lines of “why can’t I find a guy like you?”

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