Cop Takes a Bite Out of Crime, and Man’s Testicles, During Cinco de Mayo Brawl 

Ah, cinco de drinko, you are an American tradition of Mexican-style frivolity.

30-year-old Maryland cop, Michael Flaig, was charged with assault after a fight over a woman on the American excuse-to-binge-drink-tequila holiday.

Giving cops another positive reputation, Faig was caught fondling a woman by her roommate, friend, and owner of the alleged nibbled testicles. After intervening enough to stop the action, the alleged assault victim walked away but was quickly faced with an angry Faig coming in for a punch. The victim dodgeed the blow and was able to bring Faig into the fateful straddle.

While Fueled on Mexican beverages, a third party who has yet to be identified, punched the victim. (Yes, this is quintessential American Cinco de Mayo material). Unable to free himself, Faig took a big ol’ bite of the guy’s balls – enough to require medical attention and draw blood. This, unsurprisingly, worked perfectly and enabled this valiant cop to run off.

“The bitee actually got the better of him in the fist fight. After we broke them up is when he disclosed he’d been bitten in the testicles,” witness Thomas Bourne told NBC affiliate WBAL.

Because it would have been foolish not to stick around and keep celebrating, Faig was spotted sporting bloodshot eyes and slurring words at another bar on the block.

As a reminder of his holiday, Faig has been suspended and placed on paid administrative duty – Olé!

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