Men Becoming Too Clever to Get Sucked Into Taylor Swift’s Dating Trap Leaving Her to Cultivate Ridiculous Drama for Life Force…Err, Song Material

Perpetual high schooler Taylor Swift premiered her celebrity-studded, femme fatale-fueled, “Bad Blood” music video at Sunday’s Billboard Music Awards. While it has been alleged before, it’s been almost accepted as fact after the video premiere: “Bad Blood” is about the Taylor Swift-Katy Perry feud. That’s right, that much effort went into some high school style drama.

The video features Swift as ass-kicking action hero, Catastrophe, and Selena Gomez as her Katy Perry-wigged, frienemesis, Arsyn. The first scene solidifies their bad blood when, after working together to throw some weak punches at professional dancers turned unusefully masked bad guys, Katy Arsyn kicks Catastrophe out the window. Cue some West Side Story s**t.

In case you’re confused about why there is drama enough to warrant a music video with enough post-explosion effects to make Michael Bay squeal, let us explain it to you. Taylor had a few backup dancers give her a standard 30 day notice to go work on Perry’s tour. Ugh, Cupcake Boobs is ruining everything!

It’s been reported Perry feels slighted by the song but the video really didn’t bother her. She thought the video was a little desperate and that Taylor tried too hard, but she isn’t going to worry about it. Perry is still probably on the fence if Arsyn is even her likeness since her boobs weren’t aflame.

Be warned Perry, if you drop to her level of drama, she will beat you with experience. And note to Taylor, Band-Aids may not fix bullet holes, but let’s not pretend some dancers trying to have jobs are really bullet holes in your life.