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Pennsylvania Girl Has Shittiest Sweet Sixteen Ever, Literally

This is not John Hughes’ Sixteen Candles. Sixteen-year old Jacinda is probably wishing someone would have fucking forgot her birthday.

The teen Pennsylvania resident will now live in infamy for having the shittest actual birthday ever. Right after polishing off a slice of her purple “16” cake, Jacinda got showered with presents: gallons of poop raining from above. One of her guests used a phone app to figure out there were 5 planes above the poopy partiers which is where the dump has been expected to have come from. Joe Cambray, Jacinda’s stepfather, told Fox 29:

“Out of nowhere, from the sky, comes a bunch of feces!

It looked like, if a hundred birds flew over and went to the bathroom simultaneously, that’s what it would look like.”

It’s supposed to be a sign of good fortune to have a bird poop on you, so just think of the fortune placed on Jacinda and family with the literal shitload of poop in which they were showered! If only this load of crap could have fallen on one of the proverbial loads of crap that were the MTV Super Sweet Sixteen kids, that show would have been so much better.

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