Royal Baby Girl Born in a Decree for You to Stop Trying

Breaking news: Price William and Duchess Kate’s lives are perfect and you should stop trying.

Chalk your path to the throne back one space as Miss Fourth-in-Line Baby Princess was born earlier today. The just-named Charlotte Elizabeth Diana has already got her s**t way together with people commenting on her outfit (Is that a blanket or a poncho? Are ponchos in now? Should we all be buying white, knit ponchos?!) and a real life town crier announcing the only thing she’s done so far, be born.

Let alone there’s another princess in the world, it’s just salt in the wound Kate looks this good after going through labor merely hours before. Seriously Kate, you’re already a rare 21st century princess, can you just not wear heels hours after child labor?! We know you’re prim, proper, and probably magical but, the rest of us are Saturday-struggling to put on pants.

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