‘Steve Jobs’ Trailer Features Lots of Clapping, Talking and Closeups of Faces

Steve Jobs will tank. Calling it right now. It’s snakebitten. Christian Bale, perennial Oscar actor, accepts then declines the part, and Michael Fassbender steps up. People know Fassbender more for his dong than his Oscar abilities. The guy doesn’t even look like Jobs, but whatever. Bale resembled Jobs fairly decently and whichever areas he didn’t, he was so method he’d get plastic surgery to change that. Unless the movie reveals Jobs walking around naked with his big dick out, there aren’t any resemblances.

The Aaron Sorkin-penned, Danny Boyle-directed movie just cut up its first trailer. Lots of voiceovers. A ton. If you like hearing people pontificate for 2 hours, no doubt you’ll like this movie. Seth Rogen as Steve Wozniak might work. Rogen better come up with some awesome dick jokes to keep this movie going. Imagine Christian Bale and Seth Rogen improvising together and then Bale ripping Rogen a new one. What could have been.

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