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In An Infuriating Turn of Events, Bruce Jenner Transitions to ‘Caitlyn’ Without a ‘K’

God damnit, Caitlyn; it would have been so easy! You chose a name with a hard K sound and went with a ‘C’? Do you even know what family you are from?! For the rest of this post, I’m referring to you as Kaitlyn out of sheer disappointment.

The former Bruce Jenner is introducing the world to Kaitlyn, not with a K. You kan katch her posing for July’s Vanity Fair in a scantily clad bustier looking upsettingly good for her 65 years; oh to have Olympic money.

While we would have just assumed it was the part-Kardashian blood in her that kompelled her to pose glamorously semi-nude for the magazine, C-dashian felt like if she went modest with the outfit it would have left people dissatisfied and the mystery would not allow her to lead a normal life. You know, because as an Olympic gold medalist and reality star who underwent a public gender transition, her life was very conventional… err, Konventional.

Somehow the “C”aitlyn was a koncious choice as C is using her transition to self-identify rather than konform to the Kardashian; a family where she carries a heavy importance and a show which she’s been on for eight years. Just to clarify, I’m cool with your choice Caitlyn, I just think you missed a solid opportunity.

In her introduction to the world, Kaitlyn (just give me this one post) also joined the world of Twitter showing off her new glam shot and revealing herself to the world.

“I’m so happy after such a long struggle to be living my true self. Welcome to the world Caitlyn. Can’t wait for you to get to know her/me.”

In a more calming turn of events, Kaitlyn has started kontouring (a term I’m about to go trademark if the Kardashians haven’t yet) her face, a development we’ve all been waiting for since she came out to the kontouring klan of Kardashian ladies.

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