Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar Play Down Daughters’ Molestations – They Weren’t Even Awake!

Father of the Year award goes to backwards man, Jim Bob Duggar. Duggar, along with wife, Michelle, went on Fox News to explain their son Josh’s molestations of his sisters. Their interview can be summarized pretty succinctly: “C’mon, what’s the big deal?”

The Duggars are all sorts of wrong. Jim Bob Duggar defended his son with some awesome logic:

“This was not rape or anything like that. This was, like, touching somebody over their clothes. There were a couple of incidents where he touched them under their clothes. But it was, like, a few seconds…”

Oh, our bad. Did you say it was only a few seconds? That’s alright then. It’s like the five second rule with food. If the molestation doesn’t last more than five seconds, doesn’t count dawg!

Also, thank you to the Duggars for clarifying molestation. Didn’t realize it had to be touching someone under their clothes to count. Over the clothes is just youthful curiosity.

More Jim Bob defense:

“He had gone in and just basically touched them over their clothes while they were sleeping. They didn’t even know he had done it!”

Michelle goes on to say that her and Jim Bob went to talk to their daughters to make sure nothing more happened besides “improper touching”. Here, Michelle acts like “what’s the big deal?” because she says “none of them were even aware of Josh’s wrongdoings”. You know what other people aren’t aware of “wrongdoings”? Women who get roofied and raped. C’mon, they aren’t awake either, right? Does. Not. Count.

“He came to us, crying, and told us what happened. And, it was after that third time he came to us, is where we really felt like, you know what, we have done everything we can as parents to handle this in-house, we need to get help.”

Third. Time. So, the first two times were practice? The Duggars are in denial. Anything to protect their fraudulent empire.

They should have permanently attached bells to Josh’s fingers. That’d be the ultimate old school warning system. The Duggar house would’ve sounded like Salvation Army in front of department stores during Christmas time. So festive!

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