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Miley Cyrus Does Something NSFW…Again, Poses Nude with Her Pig for ‘Paper’ Magazine

No, “poses nude with her pig,” is surprisingly not a euphemism. (Although, I didn’t check Urban Dictionary, so just take my word that I am not currently using it in that context.) Cyrus and her pet pig, Bubba Sue, recently donned their birthday suits and what is questionably mud to uncomfortably pose for the cover of Paper magazine. Yes, her pig’s name is Bubba Sue; you can take the girl out of the Hannah Montana but you can’t take the Hannah Montana out of the girl.

After what was assumably the first idea in someone’s head, no one decided that maybe it’d be more avant garde to put the girl in some clothes. Apparently, the cover had something to do with Miley’s snap decision into veganism after a coyote mauled her pet dog last year. Surprisingly, this passive resistance has not affected the coyote’s stance on its carnivorous lifestyle.

The article outlining Miley’s life as a social/political activist is outshone by the attached photo editorial of her wearing tape (as clothing? more accurately, boob and va-gene coverings?) and then just not wearing tape; scroll, scroll, scroll: nipples. Similarly, this is much like her activism is shadowed by her extroverted-Willy-Wonka lifestyle. That girl exports confusion like Willy Wonka fictionally exports chocolate. RIP the time in my life when I didn’t know what Miley Cyrus’ breasts fully looked like.

Once you see past the brightly decorated genitalia, Cyrus talks of her Happy Hippie foundation, an awareness and fundraising campaign for homeless members of the LGBT community and her contempt for fundamentalist lawmakers making you think, “wow, I really underestimated her!” Only to bring you back with:

“I was doing a show two nights ago, and I was wearing butterfly nipple pasties and butterfly wings. I’m standing there with my tits out, dressed like a butterfly. How the fuck is that fair? How am I so lucky?”

I literally do not know, Miley. Perhaps for the same reason there is the adage, you can’t look away from a train wreck. Now, to go repress the images of accidentally scrolling to Miley’s boobs until I can afford therapy.

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facundo

Miley Cyrus uncensored sex tape!! just went out http://mileycyrusuncensored.blogspot.com/

Nate Fanfare
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Nate Fanfare

Two things:

1. At least she doesn’t do that goddamned awful tongue waggling thing anymore.

2. That last image, with the pig? Miley looks like she’s turned 40 overnight. Kudos?

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