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Ronda Rousey Could Kill You with Her Fingers But Has ‘Phobia of High-Def Cameltoe’

It doesn’t matter how kick ass you are as a lady, there is always one thing that can shut you down. That thing is camel toe. Recently, UFC champion Ronda Rousey shared her struggle with this flightless epidemic, her phobia of high def hungry crotches.

The Terror of High Def

As we learned with the advent of high definition, it’s an unforgiving mistress; every nook, every cranny, is distinctly carved out for your viewing pleasure. Just look back at some early high-def newscasts prior to anchors caking their faces with makeup and Botox if you’ve somehow repressed these haunting events. Those thousands of extra pixels don’t discriminate and Ronda knows it. With many celebrities forging the camel-toe-sporting trail before her, Rousey is very aware of the frontal wedgie and its captivating effect on Internet users everywhere.

“I have a phobia about camel toe. I swear to God, every time after I win, even before I take my mouth guard out, I pull my shorts down, and it’s because I have a phobia of high-def camel toe, people zooming in on the Internet and everything. It’s always, first thing, fix the camel toe!”

Though Rousey is known for her quick MMA beatdowns, she is fighting for a solution to this epidemic; she’s been working with Reebok on an anti-camel toe outfit. You’re doing god’s work, Ronda, but be warned, 4k is coming.

On this note, it seems like the perfect moment for reflection, I’ll leave you with the poetic words of the artists of Fannypack, “Um hmm, that’s right, uh huh, oh no! Fix yourself girl, you got a camel toe.”

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