50 Cent Claims He Fakes Being Rich

50 Cent is really trying to get out of sex tape promotion reparations, he wants jurors to believe his 50 Cent persona is a front and that he’s really in poverty… with his “bling,” bi-coastal luxury car collections, sale of Vitamin Water, and recent $1.6 million bet on Mayweather. He’s practically on food stamps!

At trial, he was asked about his recent little Independence Day impulse purchase, a Rolls Royce, and he pleaded that he only was able to get the car by trading in two others and one was his Lamborghini! He also beseeched the jury understand some of his other cars were rentals, like the Bentley and the Ferrari, and so were many of his jewels. Additionally, he only made 10 cents on his 38 million record sales (cough, $3,800,000 – he probably made no money off those live shows either!) and $100,000 for each of his two current acting jobs.

Wow, it sure is nice having a celebrity understand what it’s like to live in the lower class! If I could only tell you about the times I’ve rented a seven-pound, gold, diamond-encrusted, dollar sign necklace and people mistook me for someone with money to throw around or pay my debts with – ha!

This tragic story is set to help jurors decide how much the impoverished rapper/actor/businessman should have to pay in punitive damages for his little indiscretion of leaking a woman’s sex tape online with his own commentary; I mean, it’s not like he has any followers!? Sorry, I just got ahead of myself for the gross understatements.

The prosecutor brought up the idea that acting poor is just maybe Fifty’s thang, reminding the jury of his music career… acting career, endorsement deals with Reebok and an underwear company, profits from the sale of Vitamin Water, popular website, record company, mansion (equipped with the bare essentials: 21 bedrooms, 24 bathrooms, movie theatre, basketball court, and of course a nightclub) and luxury car collections on both the east and west coast.

Prosecution even got 50 Cent to admit that he did go to a strip club and throw around wads of money after he filed for bankruptcy; he’s got to take out his sorrows somehow, you monsters! He even confessed to having a net worth of $4.4 million but his lawyer implored that it’s actually closer to only $3.7 million and that’s not including the $5 million Manhattan jurors awarded to the sex tape star! Wasn’t it enough when he told the victim “I’m sorry if you feel like I hurt you?” Now that’s a heartfelt apology if I’ve ever heard one.

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