ESC

Bill Cosby Potentially Facing New Deposition for Sleeping with Teenager

Resident demoralizer of Jello, Bill Cosby is potentially facing a new deposition from Judy Huth who he allegedly molested at the Playboy Mansion in 1974… when she was 15.

This after the California Supreme Court rejected Cosby’s petition to review procedural errors they felt happened during earlier rulings in the Judy Huth suit. That rejection happened without comment and probably included like nine eye rolls.

The victim, Huth, is seeking punitive and exemplary damages for the “severe and extreme emotional distress” she has suffered, but ol’ Cosby is countersuing Huth for extortion. Clearly, he didn’t get enough the first time and is just looking to un-consensually screw her over again.

Cosby is making the claim that Huth tried to sell the story to a tabloid 10 years ago by making her “repressed memory” argument. That allows for three years to file a lawsuit from the time the incident is remembered. Cosby argues that since Huth attempted to sell her story 10 years ago, it falls outside the statute of limitations. Yeah, I don’t think this is going to help you, Cosby, since victims have been coming out of the woodwork like Tiger Woods’ sexual partners.

Cosby would like to point out that Huth’s story is also obviously false because it includes the two playing a drinking game and he is a lifelong non-drinker! He just likes quaaludes! …in his sexual partners!

At this moment, it’s important to know Cosby defends himself and says that sometimes he only drugged women with Benadryl, to which I’m sure the antihistamine company would say, “please don’t Jello us on this.”

In the past, during the Andrea Constand case, he has admitted to giving out quaaludes from one of seven of his prescriptions “the same as a person would say ‘have a drink‘” but, he would only give them to a women with their knowledge. I suppose he means he gave them one and then let them know once they kicked in.

Additionally, also from the Constand case, he defends he was just “playing sex, playing, petting.” You know, it’s just like regular sex, but you can’t be upset because he’s just playing; it’s totally different. He’s just upset that people think he doesn’t understand non-verbal signals for when a woman consents to sex. From The New York Times:

“She does not say to me, don’t ever do that again. She doesn’t walk out with an attitude of a huff, because I think that I’m a pretty decent reader of people and their emotions in these romantic sexual things.”

Your sexual, romantic, people reading skills are totally decent; Huth is only suing you for un-concentually sleeping with her as a 15 year old. This and the other dozen times were just ca-razy flukes!

Later, in the 2005 case, Cosby did admit he wasn’t sure if women were in a position to consent to sex, but he still denies he’s a sexual predator. Maybe he’s changed his mind this time around.

Funnily enough, in a not funny way at all, Cosby has never been criminally charged, and his representation completely denies any allegations of sexual assault.

J-E-L-L-Rape

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