Drunken, Trombone-Playing, Gun-Shooting, Camo-Pant Wearing Clown Arrested for None of Those Listed Things

Any combination of: drunken, trombone playing, clown, firing a gun at a can, would create a great happening, but in Grand Rapids, Michigan, we hit the quad-fecta. 54-year old Daniel Patrick Stanchik was spotted sporting his best camouflage pants with a clown mask, intoxicatedly switching from playing a trombone in his garage to shooting a can in the street: a completely reasonable way to unwind at the end of the day.

Real life Krusty the Clown was arrested after deputies arrived somehow unamused with his inebriated spectacle…oh, and he was violating a personal protection order. Count of people who aren’t surprised? Zero.

The incident caused no physical injuries and is honestly just causing some positive mental trauma for myself. Unfortunately, it seems as if Stanchik was causing the more often seen negative trauma to his neighbor, whom he was legally required to be out of eyesight.

Monday, Stanchik was released on a $5,000 personal recognizance bond making me yearn for the day I find out what happens in court.

Additional ways I’m interested in this case: turning it into the best Law & Order: Criminal Intent episode ever.

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