ESC

Olivia Culpo Went Fully Nude, Probably to Get Nick Jonas’ Attention

Olivia Culpo went from 0 to 100 mph quick. Usually, aspiring female celebs show cleavage, maybe a casual panty flash, a topless movie scene and slowly strip off their clothes over their career before finally showing off the goods. Culpo (Nick Jonas’ ex-girlfriend by the way) said ‘fuck that’. She basically walked into your room, sat on your dick and furiously grinded on it like she had a bus to catch.

Culpo got fully naked for Treats! magazine. Right about now, you should head over to their site and buy two subscriptions. They gave you a gift today and now, it’s time to repay them.

In her interview with the magazine, she mentions never having posed naked before. Glad she got over her prudish ways.

“I have never done a nude shoot before.” Olivia tells Treats!. “I had been asked, but honestly I did not feel comfortable because I was fearful of how it would be perceived. Once I realized this was an opportunity to express myself in a way I hadn’t before, in such an organic and candid sense, the experience became more about art and emotion than me as a physical being.”

Art, emotion. Oh right, one of those girls, gotcha. Let me grab this bag of crystals and meet you in the photo studio. We can make more art for my home collection of spirituality.

Did posing nude empower you? How did it make you feel?

When I looked at Tony’s work before the shoot, especially with nudes, what I saw was the beauty and sensuality. The images we produced that afternoon felt like paintings to me. The colors..the lighting..it all felt very timeless. I am not looking at nude bodies, but more the composition and quality of the image.

Zzzzz…Oh sorry, what? *wipes drool away* Oh right, colors, lighting. Yea, we’re totaaaally not looking at nude bodies either. Your breasts? Nah, those aren’t your breasts. Those are just wavelengths of light reproduced onto a photographic material, beamed over fiber optics and creating a physical reaction in my groin. You know, art.

She doesn’t have anything to plug, so guess she did us a solid. Culpo, 23, won Miss Universe 2012 which is awesome except for no one cares about that crap anymore. Back then, you had to watch porn through squiggly lines on TV, not press a button on your phone. Watching the swimsuit competition gave you enough masturbation material for a week. Now? Now these pageant contestants should just go on Instagram and show cleavage. Ask Charlotte McKinney. It worked out well for her.

Leave a Reply

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Latest
Load more