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Zimbabwe Requests the Extradition of Dr. McJerkFaceLionPoacher

Well, Dr. McJerkFaceLionPoacher has gone into hiding as the Zimbabwean government requests his extradition. Dr. Walter James Palmer has been MIA since the world has been made know of his questionable hunting practices killing and allegedly poaching beloved lion, Cecil.

So far, the dentist has just been dealing with public outcry and bullying for his, what he claims, legal but regretful kill. However, now the Zimbabwean government has made a plea, “We are appealing to the responsible authorities for his extradition to Zimbabwe so that he can be held accountable for his illegal action.” His guides for the big game hunting trip have already been arrested for illegal poaching.

Unfortunately, Palmer is a rich white dude and when you have that trifecta of qualities you can get away with, well in this case, murder. He has already been missing since protesters stormed his dental office earlier this week. Investigators have checked his home, office, and tried other methods of contact to no avail. The only contact seeming to come from him is an email to patients sent Tuesday, claiming he’ll cooperate with authorities if they decide he should be extradited, but, you know, that’s like not gonna happen because all my paperwork was in order and, like, I’m totally a good guy. Clearly he’s totally on the way to Zimbabwe now, but, like, has to make a few lifelong, identity changing stops, so he totally doesn’t get arrested… or killed by protesters.

As far as what will happen if he does find himself in Zimbabwe? Well, PETA was like to see him hanged because PETA is PETA. I more justly agree with Internet users who think he should be surprisingly lured out of safety, maimed with a crossbow, left to his own devices for about 40 hours, and then we can try him legally. I wonder if he feels like he is being hunted now; they say the biggest game is hunting other humans… Fair is fair.

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Leup Ernesto Garu

hey Zimbabwe shut your negro ass ! you are the first to be blame in the death of Cecil. your government provide Dr. Mcjerkfacelionpoacher his gun, your park ranger had seen him carrying the gun, they heard the gunshot, they heard Cecil’s cry, they see where they get rid of the lion’s body, he styed I the hotel, he paid your government, JUST LIKE WHAT YOU ALL DID TO THE SON OF DONALD DUCK TRUMPH, WHEN HE WENT SAFARI HUNTING ! THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD SAW WHAT DONALD DUCK JUNIOR KILLED, ELEPHANT, RHINO, GIRAFFE, BUFFALO, LION, CHEETAH, AND MANY MORE… Read more »

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