Ben Affleck’s Nanny Described as ‘Quirky’ and ‘Spunky’. Not Included — ‘Homewrecker’ and ‘Life Ruiner’

Gradually learning to spell this chick’s name. Christine Ouzounian. Is this name ethnic? *Googles* Yea, Armenian heritage. Calling her Chrissy O from now on. A bit like Jackie O, but much less regal and way more conniving. Now gossip lovers wanna know more about the nanny.

Luckily, we have talkative classmates. Page Six calls them a ‘source’, but let’s assume they’re high school friends of Chrissy O since all the gossip they give is from high school. So, for a homewrecker and someone who broke up a marriage, she sounds fairly…plain.

This is Ouzounian’s high school picture. You know who she looks like? Every single other high schooler out there.

Christine’s upbringing was typical — she attended Santa Monica High School (which locals call “Samo”) with her twin sister, Caty, and graduated in 2005. The “spunky” and “good-hearted” teen played soccer and was well-liked enough to attend a 10-year reunion two weekends ago, a source told Page Six Wednesday.

“She’s like a spunky personality … she’s good-hearted, smiling a lot, she’s quirky,” said the source, who is close with both Christine and Caty.

Oh, hold up. Hold up hold up. No one, NO ONE, mentioned a twin. There’s a twin involved? Changes everything. Now, it’s become a good twin/evil twin story. Somewhere, Caty is lurking off camera waiting to bone Ben Affleck, while Chrissy O takes the fall. Chrissy wants to protect her sister, so she ain’t denying it. Boom! Mind blown.

Ouzounian previously was engaged to some dude from her college, Arizona State University, but the fiance ended up having a drug problem. Yea, that’s not good.

Ouzounian later fell into nannying where she met Affleck and Jennifer Garner. Gradually, she hatched her plan to make a name for herself in Hollywood and boned Affleck. That’s what I’m assuming.

Now that Ouzounian’s Internet famous, photogs stake out her family’s house every day now. She hates that her family is involved though.

“I think she’s trying to be undercover. I know that she was trying to get away because there’s paparazzi outside her mom’s house. She doesn’t want to have her mom and her family be involved,” the source said.

Guess what. You dance with the Devil, sometimes there’s gonna be collateral damage. You wanna be famous? Then your family will suffer. How bad do you want fame, Chrissy O?

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