‘Don’t Speak’ Gwen Stefani Tells Gavin Rossdale. No Really, Because She’s Divorcing Him

Another Hollywood marriage bites the dust. First, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. Now, Gwen Stefani and Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale. It only took 13 years of marriage for Stefani to realize Bush’s music sucks balls. They haven’t made any good songs ever. They may have had popular songs, but never any good songs.

Stefani cited the old irreconcilable differences excuse in her divorce. So did Rossdale.

Gwen, who’s repped by attorney Scott Weston, is asking for joint custody of the couple’s 3 kids — 9-year-old Kingston, 6-year-old Zuma and 1-year-old Apollo.

Gavin, who’s repped by disso-queen Laura Wasser, filed his response at the same time, and he’s also asking for joint custody. It’s clear the petition and response were orchestrated to be filed simultaneously.

This next part is a kicker:

Sources tell TMZ there is no prenup, so the 50/50 California community property laws kick in. 45-year-old Gwen is worth a reported $80 million, and 49-year-old Gavin’s worth an estimated $35 million. Given the length of the marriage, that will probably all go into one pot before it’s divided.

Stefani having $80m to her name, not a surprise with all the No Doubt songs and her gig on The Voice. But Rossdale is worth $35m??? No Bush songs could make him that much money. He must be a drug kingpin, obviously the only plausible explanation. Selling Ecstasy to his fans. That’s a joke, please don’t sue.

Their joint statement ends by saying the two “are committed to jointly raising our three sons in a happy and healthy environment.” This can only mean a house free of horrible alternative rock songs.

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