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Jennifer Aniston Finally Wifed Up

It only took a little more than a decade, but another brave soul decided to take Jennifer Aniston’s hand in marriage. That warrior is Justin Theroux. You knoooww Aniston wanted this way more than Theroux. Her biological clock sounds like a huge Chinese gong going off every night. If Theroux hadn’t begrudgingly said yes, he’d be kicked to the curb.

It all took place Wednesday at their home in Bel-Air. Aniston invited about 70 people for a “surprise” birthday party for Theroux, obviously cover for the wedding. Imagine the surprise of the guests when they found out they had been duped. “But where’s the damn birthday party?? Argggh, we have to sit through a wedding now?!?”

The guest list seems pretty eclectic: Howard Stern, Sia, Chelsea Handler, Lisa Kudrow, Ellen DeGeneres and others. What’s Stern’s relation to Aniston?

People gave more details on the wedding:

For the celebration, a large wooden deck was set up in the couple’s backyard, filled with cozy nooks for lounging as well as elegant seating arrangements for 74 festooned with low, casual ottomans. A raised stage on one end, and a bar on the other, flanked the intimate setup.

The wedding cake featured “…TWO muppet-like characters — male and female — on the top.” Is this because Theroux and Aniston are a joke? Or maybe the bakery only had this cake left and gave ’em a discount.

Theroux, 46, and Aniston have been engaged since August 2012. Is that a long time to be engaged? Usually it’s a year isn’t it. Theroux needed three years to decide. That’s not a good sign. We’ll be writing about the divorce in 10 years, but for now, hey, congrats Aniston. You can finally stop crying into your hands at night, wondering if you’ll ever get married.

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